It’s been almost four years since I have started this inward and outward journey of spiritual spreading of truth and wisdom to the world. It’s been tough at times, most of the time actually, but I have had the occasional ray of light supplanted unto me through these dark days of suffering.
It all began in September 2012 when I felt like something had been birthed within me, something of a spiritual and powerful nature where I was ready to expound what I knew unto the world. So I started this blog and the rest is history. Then dark days fell upon me a couple months later where psychologically I was suffering and struggling with my internal world. Suddenly out of no where a light appeared in my life and I had a power I never thought I would have. I could broadcast. At the time I thought that when I played music through my headphones everyone could hear it in the sky. I was completely insane. I held strong to this belief as it was a powerful intuition that I had and played my favorite music for days on end. Later I figured the truth of it, that people who where meditating on the mental plane could hear the music and those awake on the physical could not. Either way I was happy, I had met my destiny and a purpose to my life was being fulfilled.
As a young adult I had always imagined that one of my greatest dreams was to inspire people with music. To give them spiritual feelings that would encourage them to want to save the world. So I did that. It felt good but I had many a “paranoid” thoughts, such a as that there were people out to kill me and people following me, namely the Black Lodge. This made it highly stressful and quite difficult. Essentially, according to medical science I was in the grip of a mental psychosis. But it felt exuberayting non the less. For years through my spiritual training I had been preparing f0r a war between light and dark and that war had come to me so in my brashness I thought “Bring it on!”.
It was the December 2012 event and I had arrived on the stage to show the world what I had to offer. I took to the streets in an insane way, in symbolic protest of what I thought was wrong with the world. The grip of the psychosis was unimaginable, my mind and heart were racing at a tremendous speed constantly, I was suffering insomnia and was barely eating. I figured through signs that had ben shown to me that the Black Lodge were spying on me through my web cam and recording my telephone conversations. I didn’t care, I thought it an excellent opportunity to communicate with them and let them know that this war was on like there was no tomorrow.
For some reason I had a feeling that Andrew Van Wyngarden was near me and I received information from Arcturian aliens that he was Uriel the Archangel. A few days before that I asked my own divine mother who I was and she answered with “guess”. I guessed I was Gabriel, then she said to me that “you wish’ and told me I was Raphael. I dreamt about Andrew just before christmas, where he was staying in the suburb next to mine and he was buying groceries from the local store driving an old red ford falcon sedan from the 80’s. Then one day while driving home I could have sworn I drove past him driving a new red holden commodore. I was certain it was him.
Christmas came and christmas went and suddenly it was as if the hype was over. I had played every song I could remember that inspired me. I lost my job for taking too many days off and was unemployed once more. I was down and out come February.
Somehow I figured that since christmas was a powerful time of year for me that perhaps easter would be also. I heard from someone the week before easter that apparently two hackers had taken over the world and thought I as the broadcaster should definitely get in on that. So I started playing again. Unbeknownst to me I had been active on other dimensions. A few days before Easter I had a wave of inspiration. So I played Phil Collins in the air as I could feel there was definitely something in the air that night. After that I played Bette Midlers From a Distance, and somehow imagined aliens coming to visit earth on a higher dimension. I had taken over the mental plane with my mind for the first time. The feeling was unbelievably good. I was on a high again. A couple of days later it somehow came to me that the two hackers were definitely going to work with me and I imagined that I would go after the catholic church more than anyone else as I was a gnostic and was angry about the gnostic coverup throughout history.
Back in december I imagined or rather received information that I definitely had “friends” who were similar to me, kinda like chosen once if you will. One night while watching video clips I received two songs for these two hackers as if I was receiving messages through the television. I played these two songs and a song called God is God quite often that weekend. It was also a very special date to do with coinscidence where my partners birthday had fallen on Easter and the new Game Of Thrones season was being released that same day. These were all signs for me that something profound was going to happen. I just didn’t know what as I wasn’t meditating and had no access to higher dimensions except for when I received information through my psychic senses.
Once again I had been “switched off”. It was a another low time for me. I was quite depressed one night and played a song about the great depression and how everyone is in depression over and over again. The weeks went on and I became more and more frustrated as I started to question if any of what believed to be true was even real. I got so angry at the people around me who didn’t know anything about it that I decided to got to hospital to figure out if this was real or not. I figured in my stupidity and in the grip of this psychosis that if it were real and everyone on Earth knew that someone at the hospital would tell me. Silly me.
Hospital was difficult. In the emergency ward I felt as if I could kill someone. In retrospect I think I probably did kill several people from a higher dimension. It was probably some fucken AMA cunt! I told the nurse I wanted to kill her and got put in the locked ward for a week before being released to the open ward. I hadn’t forgotten but momentarily decided it wasn’t real. But somewhere, I think in my pride and in my heart I could not let go. They put me on medication to stabilize my mood and to get rid of the psychotic symptoms. They blamed the psychosis on drug use such as marijuana and the ritalin that I had been described six month earlier.
The whole time in hospital I battled with the thought of it being real or not being real. I still played my music and danced in my room. I had a good time. One day at hospital was particularly special for me. I played the Coldplay song Charlie Brown at it reminded me that it was definitely real. I had a new wave of hope come over me. Shortly after that day I was released.
The weeks following were particularly difficult. I was withdrawing form benzodiazapam which was one of the most mentally difficult things I’ve been through. I was depressed through winter and had absolutely no libido what so ever, obviously the Black Lodge had done this to me. I also wasn’t smoking weed so this made my situation even more difficult. I spent the winter watching football and didn’t play a single song for months. I was scared of the thought that none of it was real.
Spring came around and I had a dream of my master and my spiritual group. It was almost as if he was making fun of my depression asking me to sit on his lap. I thought what an asshole when I awoke.
It was September and I started to get these spiritual feelings again, where I just knew that what happened to me the year before was real and I wasn’t a victim of psychosis. Well not entirely, many of my beliefs weren’t real but were rather exaggerations of the truth.
October arrived and I was feeling good. I stared listening to my music again not thinking that anyone could hear me on another dimension but rather just enjoying the music. I believe it was around the time of my birthday, October 24th, when I started feeling as thought it was going t to happen to me again where I would having a racing fast mind and information would begin to flow through me once more. One day I played MGMT’s I found a whistle while hanging the washing out at my partners home. I felt elated. It was as if the sadness of the past few months was finally being expressed and I was getting over it.
Recently I’ve been reflecting on the general attitudes of many within intellectual society toward those without tertiary degree qualification, such as myself, who claim to have some understanding and insight into the mysteries of nature. I’ve come to see that people doubt anything that is said about scientific subjects when it comes from someone with esoteric insight into subjects like biology, physics or chemistry. What these intellectuals fail to see is that esoteric knowledge gained outside of the physical body goes beyond the construction of the mind and is communicated through symbolism. This is why esoteric understandings about the inner workings of nature more often than not cannot be explained in conventional scientific language. People believe that in order to fully understand something we need to spend years studying the inner workings of the object of curiosity and they fail to realise that all the secrets and solutions to the puzzles are there for them to discover through mystical experience and esoteric learning. This isn’t to say that scientific study is not useful, as it is very useful for solving many of the problems we face as a species and is also useful for creating an understanding of the physical world where specialist education is needed, but to gain truths regarding scientific subjects such as biology for instance we do not need these academic degrees for personal insight. Academic degrees are extremely useful in the application of higher knowledge to the world but one does not need it to learn higher truths. Often what can happen is we can learn very basic information about these subjects and then can be taught the correlating esoteric information regarding them in higher dimensions. In this physical realm we are taught the complexities that exists in the world and life through academics whereas on higher dimensions we are taught the simpler version, that which goes to the core of the truth. As humans it appears to be our nature to complexify things by break them down into smaller and smaller parts, labeling each smaller part that we extract from the larger and continuing this until we have extremely specialised subjects and areas of study that if one wanted to understand the entire parent subject, which ultimately is the truth of everything, they would have to dedicate a large portion of their lives to this endeavor if not their entire life, to understand everything and even then they would probably tell you that they still have so much they need to learn in order to truly understand the bigger picture as knowledge is continuously expanding as time goes on. One subject will lead to another and another and another and so on if you really look at how complex the world and humanity is and wish to understanding it through academics. As the dimensions of reality go higher and higher the fabric of knowledge becomes simpler and simpler, where at the first spiritual level all things are brought down to a duality and at the highest level things are reduced to a unity, which is the place all creation emanates from. This I believe is the difference between knowledge and wisdom and is why it’s not a common thing that someone says they have gained wisdom through academic learning alone but rather more so through life experience of which mystical experience is included. I have not personally been to this level of complete unity yet but have come close to reaching the very first part and my brief feeling from it was that it is like entering the mind of the creator of all things, whatever you may interpret that to be – God, a type of energy or the random spark where creation began.
Many intelligent, educated people have contributed incredible things to the uplifting of the state of humanity but they could achieve so much more if they were to access this higher realm of learning. The truth, in my view, is that we simply cannot know the all of the physical world if we are completely bound to it and see academic knowledge is the pinnacle of understanding. Unfortunately, many people are stuck in this way of thinking. This is not to say that academics don’t understand anything, but rather that, without spiritual development they are confined to understanding the physical world whilst being immersed within it. It’s like living inside a house, never having stepped outside to see what it looks like on the outer and being asked to draw an accurate picture of what it looks like from the outside. If you could step outside the house you would be able to draw it’s exterior and would gain a better understanding of the materials the house is made of, the relation the external has to the internal and perhaps you would see things you never knew were a part of the house, like solar panels for instance, especially if you have never before seen a house from the outside. The sad reality is that we as humans are clouded by the intellect. Our societies to a certain degree worship the intellect and the potential it has to bring material wealth and recognition for academic achievement. This creates a culture of intellectual competition and is fuel to the fire of intellectual jealousy, criticism, and arrogance towards those without academic degrees. The funny thing about academic learning is that many people learn what other people have discovered through research and experiment and find immense pride in the fact that they posses knowledge handed down to them out of no personal investigation of their own. It’s like saying that because I’ve read and studied Shakespeare I posses the same level of understanding he did. These academic ventures certainly can be good when there is a driving spiritual force behind it. Often people have very good intentions, wishing to use their academic knowledge to help others and the world but I believe, on many of these occasions, these intentions go against the greater laws that govern creation and without realising people are inadvertently doing the wrong thing. Of course this is not as bad as consciously doing wrong but somehow I find it sadder because good people do not fulfill their life callings in the correct manner. Many people do not believe in laws of nature if they can be broken arguing if a law can be broken then how can it be a law. For this argument I like to think of the atom bomb. It is against natures way to break the atom and when we do look at what happens. Or take a rapist for example; if it’s in his nature to rape women does that then make it okay? Of course not, rape goes against the laws of nature and we recognise this as a society because it’s obvious but there are many things that are not so obvious which need personal mystical experience in order to understand. If academics could place greater focus on gaining information from higher dimensions they would learn what academic work can benefit humanities future and what cannot, no matter how well-intentioned it may be. The beautiful thing about people who strive for academic knowledge purely for the sake of knowing, void of any desire for riches or recognition, is that they strive to know the truth and this keenness to understand the world around them comes from the spiritual essence within which essentially, underneath the intellect, thirsts to know itself as it’s an expression of the creative whole and possesses all the secrets of the universe within it self.
Vincenzo Galileo (Galileo Gallilea’s father) wrote in his Dialouge of Ancient and Modern Music just when Galileo went off to university:
“It appears to me that they who in proof of any assertion rely simply on the weight of authority, without adducing any argument [that is, experimental evidence] in support of it, act very absurdly.”
Esotericism is not about beliefs or intellectual understandings. Esotericism is about personal experience, self-knowledge, inner peace and love between humanity. Everything else we can gain from it is a gift bestowed upon us so that we may help others and the state of humanity, since helping others is a key to reaching enlightenment and also brings some of the greatest inner rewards of becoming an earnest esoteric seeker of truth. We can pass knowledge to others to try to help them to investigate it for themselves or to see if their personal experience may resound true with this knowledge but it’s up to each person to seek the knowledge for themselves in order to know what the truth is. In the end academics can only go so far and as since we are all human we struggle with the daily struggles of being an animal with an intellect and experience all the difficulties human life. This is why esoteric learning is mostly used for self knowledge because ultimately you cannot bring peace to anyone but yourself. Although we do not need to astral travel or meditate to reach enlightenment these things are tools to help us get there and fulfill our unique purpose on Earth. It may be very difficult for a person who has been trained academically to understand this idea of gaining higher insight. When looking upon Esotericism with the critical, logical, intellectual mind we can easily see a multitude of contradictions as the nature of higher knowledge cannot be explained in the same language that is used to explain the physical world but we can attempt to correlate these two ways of understanding in order to cast light on many of the unsolved mysteries of science and academia. The language of the astral plane is symbolic and as the saying goes “a picture tells a thousand words” which becomes a gazillion times truer for someone who has experienced astral teachings. This is because words are used as descriptive tools but are not the thing being described. For instance, I could describe what a Grapefruit tastes like to people, but if they have not tasted the grapefruit they cannot know what it tastes like, they can only have an idea. Or I could describe what it’s like to be on acid but they would not know what it is like unless they have tried it for themselves, or I could describe what it’s like to wake up in a dream, call upon a spiritual master and be taught about the inner workings of physical science but this person would not know what this feels like. I could even describe the teaching but because these things go beyond mind the person would not be capable of understanding on a deeper esoteric level. This is not to say that by experiencing we then know that something is good or bad but rather we just know what the experience is void of judgment. There is also the experience of intuition. Intuition is an experience in itself and can lead to the discovery of truth but it can be hard to decide what is intuition and what is ego, as often egos such as fear and pride can cover the intuition and people mistake one for the other. To me fear and pride feel heavy and intuition feels weightless and ethereal, free of burden or defensiveness. Developing ones intuition is key to the esoteric work and much can be gained from this practice. By doing simply intuition tests like following the heart when it comes to which route to take in the car or a more credible way of testing is to follow the heart when choosing which line to line up in at a supermarket and seeing if you are compelled to stand in a line that isn’t the shortest if you end up passing through the check-out quicker than other lines can be a little bit of fun in the beginning of developing intuition. Another is trying to predict who is calling you on the phone before checking to see who it is. Or trying to intuitively sense what colour clothing someone you are going to see may be wearing that day can also be fun – these types of visual tests can also bring other psychic faculties into play. Although these may seem trivial and may have a lot to do with “chance” and expectation/prediction, simply trying to consciously use your intuition will strengthen this psychic faculty greatly as time goes by. Many people have strong intuitive faculties as they have developed these abilities previously. It’s no accident that some people are born with psychic abilities, just as it is no accident that others are born with other gifts such as creativity, comedic or athletic. The more one can access their intuition the more one can access higher knowledge as it is the knowing of the heart that understands spiritual teachings in higher realms, it’s not an intellectual understanding. I’m sure the vast majority of people in this world often feel that type of knowing and have not been able to logically explain why they know what they know. As said before pride and fear play major roles in diverting people from the truth so it’s very important to be able to distinguish between these and intuitive knowing. Intuition doesn’t strive to defend itself but rather one who possesses higher knowledge is compelled to share it with others so that they may be inspired to attempt to access it themselves.
The Lord: Do you know Faust?
Mephistopheles: The doctor? Do you mean—
The Lord: My servant.
Mephistopheles: Ah, he serves you well, indeed! He scorns earth’s fare and drinks celestial mead. Poor fool, his fervent drives him far! He half knows his own madness, I’ll be bound. He’d pillage heaven for its brightest star, And earth for every last delight that’s to be found; Not all that’s near nor far Can satisfy a heart so restless and profound.
The Lord: He serves me, but still serves me in confusion; I will soon lead him into clarity. A gardener knows, one day this young green tree Will blossom and bear fruit in rich profusion.
~ Faust, Goethe
People will always believe different things and there is nothing wrong with that. We can still act respectfully toward one another even if we do not agree on fundamental issues. We all have different experiences in life and therefore different beliefs, though these beliefs are often taken on from what we have been taught to be true and what information is available regarding our experience. Esotericists do not strive to convince anyone of any fact that they feel they know to be true although it may often appear this way. It’s the desire to help others that can lead to behavior that seems to be an attempt to convince people of something and spiritually this type of attachment goes to the core of the esoteric work. People should never be pressured to believe anything and everyone has their own free will to believe what they choose but when one has the experience to see something beyond the physical body they can learn things that cannot be learned in any other way. It’s just like trying to explain a personal life experience to another person. Often people can imagine what it felt like but there will always be that distance in understanding whether it be large or small. We can show love and care for suffering but that doesn’t mean we truly understand what it feels like to go through that suffering. If I were to say that people who experience night terrors don’t suffer that much and it’s not that bad compared to other fates since “it’s just a dream” and a fabrication of their minds, I think many would judge me to be extremely arrogant in my views. Just as if someone was to tell me that my experience of lucid dreaming and meeting with spiritual beings is “just a dream” when I feel I gained some of the greatest experiences available to me in these events they would also be extremely arrogant. Perhaps one would say that I’m arrogant in deeming others to be arrogant and here we can see the eternally cyclic and critical nature of intellectualism. It wants facts and figures to prove something instead of proving it through personal experience. I feel the mistake is forgetting that science is and has always been developing, so who knows, maybe much of what is considered psuedo-science now will one day be proven fact, just as magnetism was once considered magic.
The world being flat is a perfect example of an ingrained understanding making people incapable of seeing any other possibility. If many people in the past were able to astral project and view the Earth from space they would have been able to see for themselves that it is not flat but it is round. How do we know that what we see on higher dimensions is real or not? This is a very important question as our dream life is created by the subconscious and we cannot be completely sure that in dream what we see is truth, although possessing a strong intuition goes a long way to deciphering what’s real, what’s placed in a dream scene as a part of a higher teaching and what’s purely projected by our mind, sometimes it can even be quite obvious, but if we know we are dreaming and are as conscious in the world of dreams as we are here in the physical world then our experience speaks for itself. The bible possesses many examples of prophets receiving visions and teachings in dream states just to give one example of this occurring in history. An example of my own of receiving a teaching about the physical world through higher learning is when I was given an extremely esoteric teaching regarding the evolution of the human being from lifetime to lifetime and how the use of creative energies directly influences what physical state we are born into in future lifetimes. I was taught through the symbolism of letters which interestingly are used in biology but their shapes also have significant meanings both physically and esoterically; these correlations are very difficult to explain. This was an esoteric teaching about the workings of biology and how the state of higher dimensional bodies affect the biological development of a human being before it’s born. I may not be versed in the scientific side to understanding of this esoteric teaching and it’s correlations to the physical world or rather how it all works down to every last scientific mechanical fact but I do know something greater than all the little bits of the puzzle. I have seen the puzzle once it has been put together and is a complete picture, when it ceases to be a puzzle and is an image in it’s wholeness. Sometimes the simplest truths are those which contain the most understanding. Esoteric knowledge gained beyond the body can be the missing piece of the puzzle for people seeking academic truths and understanding. We can complete half of the puzzle with the mind and it’s observation of the physical world but the rest of it lay hidden in higher dimensions waiting for us to discover and complete the image so that we may use this knowledge to provide solutions to the problems of our world and the state of humanity. Academic study is good if done for the right reasons, but marry it with esoteric inner study and it can become magnificent – we only have to look at the first “Saint of Science” Sir Isaac Newton to see this may be true. Of course I can’t prove to you that Newton was an esotericist so I’ll guess you’ll just have to try to find out for yourselves :). That’s my personal plan for the future. I’m doing the esoteric inner work and now I’m looking to marry it with academic study so that I can help solve problems and do my best to “prove” things to the skeptics of the world so that perhaps these people can become less critical of esoteric information and eventually gain the courage to overcome their inner resistances to opening their minds and can begin experimenting with spiritual exercises just like a true experimental scientist would.
The Great Rebellion ~ Samael Aun Weor
“Intellect which is placed in the service of the spirit is useful, intellect which is divorced from the spirit is useless.”
“The Antichrist, fascinated by its own intellectualism, which is absolutely exclusive amongst know-alls, believes that it knows all of nature’s phenomena. The self-suffieciency, pride and arrogance of the Antichrist are unbearable.”
“Everyone bows before the Antichrist. Obviously, it has invented ultra-sonic aircraft, wonderful ships, brilliant cars, amazing medicines, etc. Under such conditions, who can doubt the Antichrist? Whoever dares, in this day and age, to pronounce against all the miracles and wonders of the Son of perdition, condemns himself to the ridicule of everyone, the sarcasm and the irony, to be classed as stupid and ignorant? It is hard work to try and make serious and studious people understand, they themselves react and give resistance.”
“The bottling up of the mind is such a terrible and serious a matter, that a humanoid will never even remotely suspect that the program is useless because he has been arranged in accordance with that program and to doubt seems like heresy, something incongruous and absurd. For a robot to doubt its own program is absurd, an absolute impossibility, because its very existence depends upon that program.”
“Unquestionably, nature deposits in the brain of the new born all the wild, rustic, cosmic and spontaneous information that is indispensable for the capture or apprehension of the truths contained in any natural phenomena perceptible to the senses. This means that a new born baby can discover by itself the reality of each natural phenomenon. Regrettably the Antichrist’s program interferes with it, and the marvelous qualities that nature places in the brains of the newly-born are soon destroyed.”
The past fortnight I’ve had a few interesting occurrences happen which were of a particularly mystical quality and involving uncanny coincidences… well I thought so anyway. These types of things haven’t happened to me for sometime and lately it has felt as though I’ve been getting into some sort of spiritual flow where I’m being thrown random messages left, right and center which really confirm for the fact that there is a subtle higher force guiding me and trying to remind me constantly of the things of greatest importance for me and my spiritual growth in the here and now.
the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection
The terms coincidence and serendipity can also be used to describe such occurrences but the quality that separates synchronicity from these terms is that the individual experiencing them describes them as being MEANINGFUL in their nature. This term was coined by the well know psychologist Carl Jung in the early twentieth century. … Continue Reading